Since October the girls and I have been working hard in preparing for a theatre performance in what seemed to be light years away… Now we have 2.5 months to go and its crunch time

9 young women. countless real stories in real times…  addiction. peer pressure. sex. body image. boys. family. education. school. anxiety. depression. grief. spiralling thoughts. cutting. eating disorders. change. empowerment

The team: 9 local actresses, one photographer, the girls, and I with a tremendous amount community support, this is the launch of the Passsion Foundation.

Thanks to Havana’s on Commercial Dr one (hopefully sunny Sunday this year will be put 8 months of growth, exploration of life skills, and theatre training into use.. how exciting?!

Part of me is sad that all the girls that started in this project havent been able to stay committed to this project but that’s reality… life happens and these young women continue to be bombarded by pressures. There are 9 others though that have amazing stories that are raw, heartfelt, real, inspiring, and a real presentation of all the young women I’ve worked with over the years!

In addition to this amazing experience we have a few of the girls in the group working toward creating some amazing new project for their peers and our book is to be finished later this year with 100% proceeds going back into programming for young women in Canada and sponsorship of our sister programs in Kenya. (I’ll be posting a story shortly about a young woman in Kenya who has started some incredible work with young women and in the process of taking on an amazing endeavour on her own account, the Passion Foundation Kenya!  )

Fade in…. fade out. Fade in… fade out… blur.

My head slowly rolls back and I look up. Nothing. Look left, look right. Nothing.

I take a sip of sprite, but the carbonated drink makes me nauseous. It almost burns as it crawls down my dry throat. My hand shakes as I put it back down and a soft moan slips out from between my lips.

Fade in, fade out.

I open my eyes and realize my tongue is pressed between my teeth.

Don’t grind. Don’t clench. Don’t grind. Don’t clench.

My tongue is numb.

I hear a ring, but it’s distant. I think it’s my cell phone. I reach out my hand and I feel my phone. It’s heavier than it should be. It takes me a few grabs, but I answer it. It’s difficult to speak.

My tongue is numb.

I let out a soft hello. It’s my friend.

Fade in, fade out.

I can’t talk right now, sorry. I’m fine. I’m just… tired. Yeah. Tired. I can’t go to bed, I have too much energy. Really. I’m fine. I need to go.

Fade in, fade out. Fade in, fade out. Blur.

My tongue is numb.

I place my phone back on the side table.

My vision is blurred. Who was I talking to?

It doesn’t matter.

Fade in, fade out. Blur.

“What are you feeling?”

“What?”

“What are you feeling?”

“Oh. I don’t feel.”

My tongue is numb.

“What about your thoughts?”

“Well… I don’t have any thoughts. It’s like in the morning and the fog suddenly comes on and it’s thick. It’s blank and it’s empty. My mind is clouded and blank and empty.”

“Just sit back and relax, just sit back and relapse again.” – Panic! At the Disco

“These children learn from cigarette burns… all these asphyxiated self medicated take the white pill, you’ll feel alright” - 3OH!3

 

Richler