We are working with Bavubuka to train 100 young women in 15 days on a coaching series created by Loretta Cella Founder and Life Coach in Feb 2010.

Last year Loretta worked with an amazing young woman in Kenya who has now trained 80 young women on life skills and goal setting..

Our goal is to empower from within and allow the young women involved to live life to their personal best while helping their peers- supporting and empowering each out!

Check out our NEW website www.passionfoundation.org

The Passion Foundation is putting on a series of amazing speakers for young women November 4, 12, 19, 26th… Spaces are limited to 25 spots per workshop so reserve a spot now!

November4, 12, 19, 26, 2009

“i’m so miserable right now… i just want to go get high”
“that’s not a good idea… i think it’s best if you don’t”
“i want to though… i just want to get fucked up… just… not even remember life… i don’t care… i want my cell phone.”
“well i can’t do anything from 3000 miles away but ask you not to. what about me the other night when i was popping sleeping pills? you were like DON’T FUCKIN DO THAT”
“YEAH. but at the  moment i don’t fucking care. there is no point.”
“yes there is”
“i’m taking so many classes… i don’t even have time to study… there are so many boys… i drank so much vodka”
“i can tell”
“i haven’t cried this hard in sooo long… i just want my phone… i don’t know what’s wrong with me, i want to die”
“no you don’t… please don’t =(“
“i don’t know what to do”
“you sit and talk to me, that’s what you do… do you have gatorade?”
“there is none… maybe at the village. but it closes at 11 and i can’t go out there with my eyes this red”
“so just stay here then”
“why am i gay? why can’t i like boys?”

WHY is it that sexuality is such a big deal? Why do people have to discriminate? Why is liking the same sex so taboo? To me it’s the same thing if you have red hair as opposed to brown hair. I mean yeah she was clearly really drunk but no matter what it shouldn’t be a big deal.

I have a philosophy. If I haven’t come out to someone yet who’s a friend… it shouldn’t be a big deal. Because if they liked me before, they should like me regardless of some new information. So it’s not the way it “should be” but that’s the way it IS. Honestly I can’t imagine not accepting people of difference.

I’m gonna keep this short.

I think we should all discriminate against those who are straight for a week and see how they like it.
Or rednecks.
I think peoples’ opinion would change if they knew someone who was homosexual or bisexual or of colour, really knew them. I mean it’d be harder if it was someone of colour, but if it was someone who wasn’t straight and they got to know them and THEN they came out… I’m sure their opinions could change.

I personally discriminate against discriminators.

My friend tonight was crying and wanted to die because she felt like she had to hide her sexuality. Now what kind of life is that?

The alcohol certainly was a factor, but preference should never have to be hidden. Ever.

“listen… there is absolutely nothing wrong with you or with being gay. and your friends liked you before they knew, they have no reason not to if you told them. they thought you were kickass before, it shouldn’t knock their thoughts about you. i have a feeling you’re doing something self harming… but know that it’s okay to be gay. and know that you’re loved”

People shouldn’t NOT be considered people because of their preference or opinion.

“I’ve got a soul that cannot sleep at night when something just ain’t right/Blood red but without sight Exploding egos in the night mix like sticks of dynamite red black or white this is my fight/Come on, courage let’s be heard turn feelings into words/American equality has always been sour an attitude i would like to devour/My name is peace this is my hour can i get just a little bit of power?/The power of equality“
                        The Power of Equality – Red Hot Chili Peppers

In today’s shallow world, it’s hard to keep from drowning.

Drowning,
losing breath.
losing focus.
everything becomes a blur in the magical mirror mirror on the wall,
tell me who is the fairest of them all?
we wish it was us.
we hope it was us.
we know it was us.
but it WAS.
it’s not.

At least, not
anymore.
who we are now reflects who we were.
that mirror mirror on the wall only shows what we want to be.
who we want to be.
where we want to be.
But it’s all just the
same.
just a mirage.
touch the mirror mirror on the wall, go on.
touch it.
Can you feel it?
of course not.

you’re drowning in your self image.
in your consciousness.
In your awareness.
in your hopes
your dreams
your wishes.

You wish you could stay afloat,
don’t you?
Ask the mirror, maybe it’ll give you a floatation device.
go on,
just ask.
the only thing that’ll
listen.
because it doesn’t have a mouth to rebut.

wouldn’t that be great?
nothing to speak back,
tell you otherwise,
tell you you’re wrong,
tell you you’re not who you want to be.

well isn’t that a shame.

mirror mirror on the wall,
who’s the most shameful of them all?

I called a friend.
She presses ignore.

I tried several calls for help online.
Most were ignored. So I tried to be blunt.

“are you there?”
“yeah”
“i’m feeling really down i need someone to talk to”
“sure… haha look at my picture with my boyfriend it’s so cute!”

“heyyy “
“sorry… i don’t feel like talking right now…”
“whats so damn terrible that you have to be depressed? you’re always so damn depressed over nothing, miss rich bitch whos over spoiled”

All I wanted was someone to talk to. My friends know I have a problem controlling my emotions. I can deal with the phone call, maybe she was busy. My best friend wouldn’t help me. Another good friend would rather ask me about her cute boyfriend.

I’m tired of being depressed. I’m tired of finding myself on the floor curled up in my closet bawling my eyes out grippng onto the floor. I’m tired of thinking the same horible untrue thoughts about my self which I end up believing for that time.

It doesn’t take much to be there for someone. I don’t let myself cry long, I give myself 15 minutes maximum and then I’m fully clear within 10 minutes. It’s even shorter if someone’s there.

If someone tells you they’re depressed… write down other stuff to tell them later, and just listen. All it took for me was someone to listen and show they cared.

I don’t think I’m making sense.

The point is if someone is upset, just listen. It’s really not that hard.

kthx.

It took me 3 drugs.

It took me 3 months from the last time I really used.

It took a friend 3 minute of her time to listen to me ramble so that I could come to a very needed realization.

Tonight, I had my first epiphany that came from myself. Just me. Not Jackie, not my friend… Me.

For over a year I’ve been using. For over a year, I’ve had people beg and plead me to stop.

Last summer, I thought I met someone who changed me. She did. She couldn’t. She inspired me to make a change. But she can’t make the change. She made me WANT to change. She made me want to quit. She made me want to be a better person.

Well, I’m proud to say I most certainly am a better person. Unfortunately, I continued to use.

In the past 3 months, ecstasy, weed, and caffeine have been my drugs.

I’ve put so much shit in my body, the drugs don’t have their normal effects on me.

Ecstasy

I basically spent my spring break on a huge relapse. I spent that week completely high. But one cap didn’t satisfy me. No… I popped 2 and would have a large RedBull accompany them. Instead of the good feeling and the occasional hallucinations, I sat there and I shook. I sat in an arm chair shaking, sweating, freezing, feeling numb.

I realized ecstasy didn’t have the effect on me it once did. Even when I was sober that week, I can’t remember a single thing. I can’t remember the Britney Spears concert. I can’t remember sleepovers, hang outs, family visits, etc. What I do remember is biting my tongue so hard it was numb. I remember grinding my teeth because I felt I had to. I remember anything carbonated might as well have been acid going down my throat. I remember picking up my cellphone and thinking it must have been a brick it felt so heavy. I remember sitting in that chair thinking I was going to die. My blood was pumping my head was pounding I was shaking and sweating. I remember waking up the next morning wondering why my tongue had bite marks/blood on it, why my lips were chewed up and swollen. I remember wondering why I was drenched in sweat.

Then I remembered. I took 2 caps of orange dolphin ecstasy the previous night and chugged a large RedBull with it.

Lady Ecstasy, I am done with you.

Marijuana

I remember the first time I smoked a bowl. It was for a stupid reason, really. I was at home, hanging out with my friend. My stepbrother is a bit of a pothead and his stoner friends come over. One of them was REALLY hot. He came in to my room and kept asking me to join them. Embarrassed that I’d never smoked weed/didn’t know how, I declined. Later that night, I got my stepbrother to teach me so that I could hang out with his hot friends.

WELL. I noticed that when I was high, it made me feel good. It was an easy and quick addiction. It became an everyday thing, and my tolerance became ridiculous.

After spring break, I was hanging out with a friend and we got quite a bit of weed. And of course like any obnoxious teenager, we smoked it. I had at least eight times more than him. He walked around like an idiot, laughing at everything. I didn’t feel any good. I didn’t feel happy. I didn’t feel giddy and smiley and laughy.

I felt dead.

I felt clammy, my blood was pumping and my head was pounding. I felt light. I felt as if I were going to black out.

Mary Jane, I am done with you.

Caffeine

Everyone knows caffeine. Okay, obviously I am going to enjoy a coke or a cup of tea or an iced coffee again. But today I did something really stupid.

I thought it was going to be harmless. I thought it was going to be fun. I thought I was going to be wired.

I had a large can of RedBull (funny how RedBull is always involved…), a bottle of caffeinated pop, and 3 caffeine pills.
Let me put that into perspective for you.

Large RedBull (more than 80 mg of caffeine, that’s how much is in a regular can)
+ 571 mL coke (around 55 mg of caffeine)
+ 3 caffeine pills (200 mg each)
———————————————-
= over 735 mg of caffeine.

Now, in a cup of coffee there is generally about 40 mg of caffeine.

735 mg of caffeine / 40 mg of caffeine per cup of coffee = over 18 cups of coffee.

Imagine drinking about 18 and a half cups of coffee in 20 minutes.

I wasn’t wired. I wasn’t bouncing off the walls. I wasn’t running around non-stop. I wasn’t crazy.

I was pretty normal mentally.

But physically?
I remember my blood was pumping my heart was pounding. I walked around today with a sore spot where my heart is, short of breath, and yet still tired. My temperature was ever-changing, I’d be really flipping hot one second and freezing the next. The cold sweat returned.

I thought I could get a high, because clearly the other drugs weren’t giving me one.

It had the same effect. I felt sick, I felt faint.

Drugs, I am done with you.

Until my realization today, I never wanted to be sober. I missed drugs, I missed the high and the wonderful fantasy feeling I got. But then I realized… I’d put so much shit in my body that I can no longer feel that.

My body had been giving me warnings recently, but I had been too ignorant and addicted and dumb to see them. I’d blacked out from drug use before, and it was a similar feeling.

So I asked myself today… If I don’t get the high, if I feel like I’m sick or faint or like I’m going to die…

How many warnings will I get until it’s too late?

I consider this my official closure to drugs, my final wakeup call.

Passion Project Real Girls Real Stories

So it’s 6 days and counting and here we go about to give birth to the 9 month project in the making. 

It’s amazing to watch this project unfold and all the unbelievable things that are happening. The Passion Team: Alex R, Alex L, Maya M, Tina P, Angela W, Esther C, Ashley T, Verdann E  have made this all happen and to them I’m so grateful! With each one of you you bring a certain character, energy, laughter, emotion, and “colour”… and this whole process would not exist without you!

To Suzanne Ward, Anna Mae Routledge, Tara Fynn, Jessican Harmon, Benita Ha, Lori Petryk, Grace Kim Park, Patti Allan, Browen Smith, & Kristina Barr WE could not have done this without you all… Your time energy belief and direction to these amazing young women and this project has been priceless. For some of you who have never worked with young people before we REALLY appreciate your energy, patience, and heart because your follow through shows our team that there are people out there that will do things out of the goodness of their heart

Stay tuned for more updates and performance snap shots!!!

Loretta.

OH HECK YES.

buy a bracelet. dallas green has one.

and now selena gomez, a disney actress filming a movie here in vancouver was wearing her bracelet loud and proud.

me and selena!